Suddenly, darkness enveloped the room by Charlotte S.
May7
Pepper woke up. Beads of sweat dripping down her face. She was awake but her nightmare had not stopped. The figure crept toward her, and suddenly, darkness enveloped the room. As the figure neared, she saw it was cloaked in black. She jumped out of her bed. She stumbled on a loose floorboard. She fell down the creaking staircase. She tumbled and tumbled and tumbled until she reached the black door. Pain surged through her leg, creeping down to her ankle. She limped towards the door, grasping the cold handle as she opened the door, suddenly everything went pitch black.
Charlotte,
I was on the edge of my seat–tumbling down the stairs along with Pepper. Your use of vivid verbs made me feel each surge of pain.
Keep writing.
Mrs. G., Team 100, Guilderland, NY, USA